Mechanics Of Motherhood

Letting Go

Wednesday, May 18, 2011 6:58 AM

I have known for a long time that the role conflict inherent in being a working Mom is challenging. Today I came to the realization that I may not be able to achieve my career goals without compromising my goals as a mother. There are challenges we meet at work every day. What defines us is the way we meet these challenges. In today's corporate environment, often you must compromise your approach, your ethics, or just how you do your job to move up. Often the politics or the actions "for the good of the company" conflict with what we strive to teach our children. We ask our children to play nicely with others, but often can't work together as a team. We ask our children to learn to communicate, but have our own hidden agendas at work. We prepare our children for the way we want to work together only to sabatoge our own efforts by not following the rules we were taught as children. This role conflict is central to the psyche of a working Mom. Every day when you talk with your children and guide them to be a better person; you are faced with the reality that life doesn't work that way. Many of us try to be different. We work to collaborate, to communicate and to make our corporate environments a better place to work. Very often we don't succeed. It isn't due to lack of effort or not knowing how to get the message out. The truth is that this type of culture makes many of our colleagues uncomfortable. They want a highly competitive environment where only the few can win. Today I realized that this may not be the game I want to win. Have I achieved more by finally reaching the job title I want or by raising children who and happy and have the skills to be successful in life? Am I more successful when I meet my objective no matter the cost at work or when I teach my children that compromise and team work allows everyone to win? If more of us working Moms focused on teaching our children how to collaborate, would we eventually achieve the goal of a better, more collaborative work place?

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